How 'gentle parenting' is raising emotionally intelligent kids

An anonymous writer on a parenting platform, Kidspot, recounted traumatic memories of their father using a belt for punishment, describing how they would be instructed to hold out their hands to receive strikes on their palms. They offered alternative methods, like "gentle parenting."

They emphasized that even milder forms of physical discipline, such as their mother's use of a wooden spoon for "light taps," were equally damaging psychologically.

"Having experienced both kinds of 'discipline,' I know two things: the only thing a child sees is a parent's anger and their lack of respect," the author wrote, highlighting the emotional impact of such practices on young minds.

The post detailed a particularly distressing incident involving the writer's 17-year-old sister, who reportedly wet herself out of fear while being disciplined.

The author challenged common justifications for corporal punishment, arguing that it is often a result of parental anger rather than a controlled disciplinary technique. They suggested that parents who resort to physical punishment may misunderstand or reject alternative approaches like "gentle parenting."

"People are wrong, and deluded, if they think spanking is a controlled and purposeful parenting technique," the post stated, challenging the notion that physical discipline is an effective or necessary parenting tool.

The writer clarified that effective parenting does not require adhering to specific labels but rather focuses on respecting children. They emphasized that this respect is at the core of gentle parenting approaches, contrary to misconceptions about such methods being overly permissive or ineffective in setting boundaries.

Addressing the legal and ethical aspects, the author pointed out that there are strict laws regarding the treatment of children. They argued that even minor physical punishments can instill fear in children and potentially damage the parent-child relationship, emphasizing that the intent behind the punishment is less relevant than its impact on the child.

The post concluded with a personal anecdote from the author's early childhood, describing a severe incident of physical punishment witnessed by family and friends. 

'My earliest memory is of being absolutely thrashed while visiting family friends. I was swung around the room, with a circle of people watching in horror. One of the dads tried to stop it, imploring my father to stop.

He didn't until his anger was spent. My mum had quiet words to him in the car later - for embarrassing her. When we got home, I received two 'taps' on the wooden spoon on each hand, for "causing him to snap in the first place," the author recalled.

The person who shared their story says they tried to forgive their parents because they didn't know better. This sentiment echoes a common theme in discussions about breaking cycles of physical discipline across generations.