Women on TikTok are talking about a new idea called "boyfriend air," which means that dating someone can somehow make you look worse. The trend has become so popular that more than 225 million people have watched videos with the term #boyfriendair.
The premise is that after spending time with a boyfriend, a woman may notice her skin breaking out, her hair feeling oilier, or her makeup seeming not to stay on as well. It's as if "her boyfriend is changing the air around her or somehow influencing her environment," explains psychology professor Maryanne Fisher.
While no clear scientific explanation for "boyfriend air" exists yet, experts say the shifts likely stem from changes to routines, environments, and self-care when beginning to share space with a significant other more frequently. Despite the lack of evidence, though, women's first-hand accounts indicate the phenomenon feels very real.
Several potential factors could drive boyfriend air's impact on appearance:
Altered schedules - Staying up late or having inconsistent sleep could increase stress hormones that worsen skin and hair conditions. Differing exercise and eating habits also drive physical changes. “Women shift their diet, hydration, sleep, and exercise around boyfriends,” says Fisher.
Exposure to new products - A boyfriend’s grooming products, detergent residues on his clothes, and even oils from his skin and facial hair could cause breakouts or irritation. “As the boyfriend's environment and personal grooming becomes more normalized, the woman starts to acclimate,” explains therapist Cecille Ahrens.
Changes in self-care - More time cuddling or relaxing together means less time deep conditioning hair or maintaining skincare regimes. Forgoing these can worsen hair and skin issues. “Cuddling takes priority over exfoliating,” Fisher notes.
Psychological factors - Believing in the concept of “boyfriend air” could potentially cause women to scrutinize themselves more, or feel anxious about relationship changes - indirectly worsening self-confidence and perceived appearance.
Underlying medical conditions - Stress, vitamin deficiencies, thyroid dysfunction and other issues can also drive skin, hair, and body changes. A new relationship may uncover an underlying condition.
Whatever the reasons, women widely report boyfriend air as a real experience. “It’s great that we humans now have a platform to talk about our shared experiences,” says therapist Ahrens. TikTok allows women to give voice to a phenomenon not previously discussed.
The experiences of boyfriend air align with research on relationships' impacts on wellbeing. Entering a new partnership requires adapting routines and environments to cohabit comfortably. This can affect stress, diet, self-care and other drivers of physical health - for better or worse.
In fact, studies show single women often enjoy better sleep quality, exercise more, and eat more nutritious diets than their coupled counterparts. These advantages erode as romantic relationships progress towards cohabitation.
So, while the specifics of “boyfriend air” remain scientifically ambiguous, broader evidence confirms that dating profoundly transforms women’s lifestyles in ways that influence appearance and physical health - sometimes visibly.
However, experts emphasize communication is key for navigating boyfriend air or any other relationship change. Opening up about needs, frustrations, and differences in habits allows couples an opportunity to realign priorities and schedules intentionally.
Doing so can preempt boyfriend air’s unwelcome effects by ensuring adequate sleep, nutrition and self-care even when spending more nights together. With mutual understanding, couples “increase intimacy” while better “maintaining their own identity,” says therapist Adrine Davtyan.
Simple strategies like packing overnight bags with personal care items, scheduling workouts together or designating nights for self-pampering provide easy ways to circumvent boyfriend air. Maintaining healthy communication ultimately matters most though.
As TikTok airs once-taboo topics like boyfriend air, the hope is to spark insight versus anxiety. While sudden changes in skin, weight or energy when dating are real, lasting love means embracing each other’s quirks and differences compassionately.
With openness, mindfulness and laughter, couples can navigate new routines productively and even turn boyfriend air into a bonding experience. At best, your affection could make each other glow both inside and out.