A network of Facebook groups called "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Sometimes referred to as AWDTSG, this group has gained millions of members but is facing scrutiny over its impact on both men and women.
According to the Washington Post, the group was started by Paola Sanchez in the 2022. "Are We Dating the Same Guy" started with the aim to help women share information about potentially dangerous or toxic men they've encountered while dating. With over 3.5 million members across 200+ groups, many women say the forums have helped them avoid bad situations.
However, several interviews reveal the groups have also led to certain unintended consequences. Some men describe losing jobs or relationships over accusations they claim are false. Women report being confronted by men they warned about, at times fearing for their safety.
"I didn't get any of that," said Jocelyn, who posted about an abusive ex hoping for support. "Instead, I got him brought right back into my life." Her ex discovered her post and sent angry messages, leaving her fearful.
The groups gained attention in January when an Illinois man filed a defamation lawsuit against Sanchez, Facebook, and others involved. Sanchez declined interview requests but said in group posts she plans to "aggressively fight" the suit.
Some former moderators have turned against the groups, concerned about collateral damage. "We weren't equipped to handle that," said Kandace Russell, a former moderator, regarding women reporting safety concerns after posts were leaked.
Sanchez maintains the groups can be safe if rules are followed. She's raising funds to create an app that would block screenshots and allow anonymous commenting. However, experts like dating coach Christan Marashio warn that maintaining truly safe online spaces requires careful vetting and moderation.
As the groups continue growing, debate persists over whether they ultimately help or harm those involved in the complicated world of modern dating.